Goodnight world

IMG_1809.JPGDear readers,

Tonight’s blog post is short and sweet.

I just wanted to wish you a goodnight. May you rest your head on your pillow, close your eyes to endless happy endings and let positive thoughts cloud your metal. I love you all. Sweet dreams.

Xoxo,

TypicalStevie 💋

P.s have you listen to Sza new album???? It’s called “Ctrl” and I am obsessed. I fell in love with her ever since she created a genius version on the song ” Come and see me” by  Partynextdoor. Her version is called “twoAM” Sza literally speaks/ sings the words I let cloud up my mental 24/7. All day, everyday. Her music makes me want to stand up for myself, reminding myself I deserve better but also reminds me of those times I didn’t stand up for myself. It reminds me of the time I let  stupid boy’s walk over me, not treat me the way I am supposed to be treated. (Like a queen of course) Most importantly, her music reminds me to use those feelings of being unappreciated, turning them into lessons that a soul will never cross. THANK YOU SZA.

Let’s be honest, we have all been in a  position we are not totally comfortable with yet, we still let it continue because we like the feeling… guilt pleasure. AH! Anyways, PLEASE listen to her music because she speeches.

Goodnight loves 💋💋💋❤️

 

Last I checked

IMG_1550.JPGMy mind is fresh.

My writing is free.

My mind is cluttered.

My writing is not neat.

Do not and I repeat, do not not attack me.

For my blog is my safe place.

My emotions run high and low.

My emotions spins and twirls.

Remember,  I won’t tell a soul. Instead,  I use my blog as a living breathing journal.

General but never too personal.

Last I checked, a blog does not have to be politically correct.

I write. Freely.

Not correctly.

I feed my soul with understandment.

I can never look down on someone.

For my mind have been trapped in earth darkness hole.

Yet, here I am today.

Standing proud. Shameless.

Humble. Remembering everything I still must do.

I am not a “Miss. Know it all” because I do not know it all.

There is always room for improvement and I am eager to learn.

There is a reason why I write the way I do.

There is a reason my emotions are up and down.

There is a reason why I look over my shoulder repeatedly even when I am home.

There is a reason, I am scared to fall asleep because my dreams wakes me up screaming in my middle of the night.

If only you knew…

I would not wish it on my worst enemy.

I have my reasons..

Do not question it.

Understand it.

Last I checked, typicalstevie.com is a NO JUDGEMENT BLOG.

I will not judge/ look down on you.

Do not judge/ look down on me.

-typicalstevie.

 

 

Short and sweet (2015 skin routine vs. 2017)

IMG_0832.JPGHello lovely readers,

Reading some of my old blog posts I came across my 2015 skin routine.

It is comical how many products I used to use. In 2015 mosquitoes eat me up alive. My skin was covered in marks from my nails itching/ bruising  where the mosquitos use to bite me.

I took action into my own hands and changed my lifestyle dramatically. I cut out soda and juice drinking strictly water and lemon. ( this was really hard because I LOVED COKE COLA) but, I loved my skin more!

Fast forwarding to 2017 my skin is close to being flawless.

While in Dominica in 2015 I was introduced to a lot of natural products, Being super impatient I turned to man made skin care thinking it would work faster, not realizing natural products are the key to success.

In 2016, I completely cut out high end skincare products. I turned to coconut oil and charcoal African black soaps. Looking around I was not alone. The great awkwaking of coconut oil reached its peak and people all over the world grew to this obsessed like myself. This was  beneficial because natural products became available in every local store that I stepped foot in.

Fast forwarding to 2017, my skin care routine includes drinking four through nine bottles of water every day.

Tip: If you don’t like water ADD lemon. TRUST ME! You’ll drink a bottle in seconds craving another. Lemon also has a lot of  benefits such as weight-loss, energy and prevention of certain cancers. Google it if you don’t believe me.

As for my skin,  I exfoliate everyday with natural exfoliating soaps and scrubs. Instead of using a wash cloth, I use a  Exfoliating bath gloves.

Getting out of the shower I use three products and three products only!

• Vaseline

• Coconut oil

• Bio Oil ( if my skin is extra dry)

I usually combine them all together. During so, in the morning my skin is still glowy but mostly importantly soft.

Everyday I notice small improvements within my skin.

I also take natural vitamins such as vitamin C, D, B and E from deans to boost  up the process to get flawless skin.

From having scar from my head to toes, to only having small blemish marks that are hardly noticeable my skin routine as done me well!

Remember: my skin journey will not be the same for you. You must try different things products to figure out what works best for you. Most importantly DRINK WATER! Water helps clears skin and is super healthy.

I hope I helped.

Xoxo,

typicalstevie 💋

I like it. I like it a lot (Part 1)

Dear readers,

Today’s blog post is about you.

Kindly, I ask, may you read my questions & answer the following in your head. If you feel the need to share, do so!

What is your guilty pleasure?

Do you have one?

Do you have many?

Have you told a soul?

Are you ashamed to talk about it openly?

How does it make you feel?

Does it excited you?

Does it thrill you?

Do you feel power?

Do you feel weak?

Most importantly, do you feel comfort from the guilt of your pleasure?

Does the aftermath effect you?

Do you end up in a deep thought?

Or, do you brush it off by distracting yourself enough, from feeling guilty?

Now that you have read my questions, it is time to reflect.

While reflecting, let’s think deeper…

Why does the rush of being bad thrill is us so much?

Why do we brush off the guilt?

Why are we not afraid of the consequences?

I allow you to take some time. Take seconds, take minutes, take hours and take a few days if needed.

In the meantime, let me soothe your mind…

We all have skeletons in our closet. No! That is not an excuse, but, you must not feel shame. Instead, OWN IT. We are all afraid, deep down of something. ( It is time to be honest, let your guard down while reading) OWN IT. We all do things we know shouldn’t. Yet we do anyway. ( I am not judging) OWN IT.

Own your guilt. Own your flaws. Own your mistakes.

Owning your imperfections is what gives you and ONLY you the power to your life and self esteem. Deal with your guilt, accept your flaws, recognize your mistakes and focus on how to improve yourself. Only YOU can do it.

I, typicalstevie, will return with part 2. I will give you enough time to honestly think. Think big, think deep, think for yourself.

Until we meet again.

Xoxo,

typicalstevie 💋

 

 

Dear Summer 2017

Dear summer 2017,

grow me.

I was once a strong rose.

Winter was rough.

I have weaken.

Grow me.

I was once a strong rose.

Insecurities took over my mind.

I have weaken

As the sun shines brighter so does my mental.

I have strengthen.

As the waves softens.

My heart opens.

Summer 2017,

grow me.

Let the rain water me.

Let the rain wash away my sins.

Let the sun give me a chance to grow.

Let the soil from the father’s earth build me.

For I was a strong rose.

For I have become weak.

For my strength to rise.

Dear Summer 2017,

I am a strong rose.

-typicalstevie

Listen without words

IMG_0895.JPGI’ll never tell you how I feel.

You should know already.

You should know when I am sad.

You should know when I am mad.

You should know when I am happy.

You should know when I am glad.

For I will leave you hints.

complicated.

You shall take some time trying to figure it out.

Yet, easy enough for you to solve.

For I shall guide you into the right direction.

You shall follow.

You shall listen to my silent words.

And you should know what I am saying without me speaking.

If you are impatient, you shall ask.

Do not question me.

Learn me.

You should not ask.

I will never tell you.

You should know already.

My actions speaks louder than a echo on the top of Mount Everest.

My action will say ‘ I care about you’ before my words ever do.

My actions will love you before my words ever do.

If you are not quick enough, my actions will leave you faster than I my words do.

you may feel hurt, you may feel used.

Maybe if you listened, to my speechless words, my actions would have forever been there for you. -typicalstevie

I am at peace

7DD42475-1829-4B1B-9739-18A37B2A4833.JPGDear readers,

I would like to start off by saying dreams do come true. As cheesy has that sounds I must plead the fifth and rest my case.
Once upon a time, seven months ago my daily routine included eating/ partying on repeat. I woke up in the afternoon just enough time for lunch. I showered got dressed and was out the door. I wouldn’t come home until ten at night, only to shower again and out door. Returning back home from car rides filled with laughter, from previously dancing at parties with friends and socializing; My fantasy of a perfect world washed away and as soon I approached my front door. Real life crawled down my back. Afraid of disappointment in my mother’s face if she woke from the sound of my footsteps, I tip toe into my house between late nights and early mornings. I was weary. Instead of getting my beauty sleep, I responded to each bling from my hotline. Sad to say I enjoyed every second of it. Pure entertainment.

I did not come to the conclusion that I was making poor decisions. I brushed off life’s responsibilities as if there was dust on my shoulders.

Writing “the stages of unknown” my mental reached it’s peep. My life slowly dirty dance it’s way into a complete 180. This transition WAS NOT EASY. Slowly yet abruptly my eye opened wide as if I was blind all summer 2016. I was able to see things for what they really were.

Friends-
“Friends” stopped showing their fake love. Instead, I was able to see the monsters they truly were. Pretending to be there for me emotionally, only to change the topic of conversation within seconds. Questioning me about the boys that are interested in me only to find out my dear “friend” is plotting to get with ‘Mr. Mr’ (that part did not effect me. I laughed and continued with my life) Planning to live together after high school , than completely walking out of my life the first day of senior year. AHHH! The list goes on and on about betrayal from my dear “friends”. It’s sad to say some of them still does not realize how damaging they are as a human being.

So I learned my lesson. I do not let people in my heart. At all. I hardly even let people have pointless conversations with me. Once in a while guilt runs down my back. Seven months later I came across a few individuals that are everything you expect from a best friend yet I cannot fully let my guard down to trust them due to the fact that I was blindly fooled by demons, sucking out all my love leaving me bitter and heartbroken. I turned to anger as my only emotion. Fast forward to today, my bitterness is long gone and I have came across GOOD PEOPLE WITH PURE INTENTIONS. Yet, my eyes are still open. Fake appears in every shape and form.. there is nothing I can do to stop it. That’s just the way of life. Instead, my objective is to observe and take note. Most importantly, FOCUS ON MYSELF 2000000% more. Once in a blue moon I let new people in my life and but I do not warn them on how to treat me. Doing so, it is easier to figure out their motives and intentions. Often, when you warn someone on how to treat you, they won’t cross your set boundaries. Without warning someone on how to respect you, you give them the power to decide right from wrong. Based on their actions, their true colors are eventually exposed.

Some may look at my objective as being walked over or weak.. little did they know, the worst weakness is demanding power through fear. You get respect by showing respect. Being vulnerable yet proud IS power. I do not, anymore, demand anything out of anyone. If they choose to respect me, great, if not, I will remove myself faster than a blink of an eye. My absence will sink in and they will be left with great regret. I am not an angel, I’ve made poor decisions too, life continues. To those I’ve hurt in the process of learning the real me, I am sorry.

Due to fake love illumination process, these past months my life has been drama free. The energy I use to put into friendships that didn’t even last three months, I put it into my family, my goals, my job and my aspirations. Slowly but surly one by one becoming achievements.

Family-
I love my family and their tough love is the main reason besides myself, to change my lifestyle.
Growing up the word “No” did not exist in my life. I did not have a typical childhood because I was sick, in and out of the hospital every week. Doctor’s could not solve my sickness so I did not experience being wild as a child. Instead I painted posters, hanging them in the hospitals playroom and decorating my IV poll with rainbow colored yarn.
Developing into a teenage, my sickness slowly went away. Social life was at it’s peek catching my mother mainly, off guard.
Everyday I wanted to hang out with my friends and go to parties. In fear of my safety my mother stopped saying “yes” and I felt my life was over.
This started conflict and tension between the both of us and I started to rebel BIG TIME.
Part of tension between my mother and I was the reason I went to Dominica, I couldn’t stand being home.
Returning back to New Jersey from Dominica a year later, my appreciation for my family grew countlessly. Partying on the other hand, I did not give up.
Although when I returned, there wasn’t conflict and I was able to do whatever I wanted again. Family in my household started to distance themselves away from me. This hurt me greatly because I loved them and I felt they didn’t love me. ( They obviously loved me, they were just disappointed ) Realizing my actions was the problem I also distance myself from them and stayed in my room 24/7. In conclusion, I felt ashamed.

After writing “the stages of unknown”, I reached out to my mother and family. They responded to me with open arms and from there on, we’ve been building on stronger relationship.

I am grateful my family has given me chances upon chances.
When I mention “family” I am mainly referring those who raised me/ been there for me 24/7. My mother, my aunt Cora my grandmother and my aunt Fannett. They saw the potential in me and because of them I will never give up. Also my sister she keeps it REAL!

It is absolutely mind blowing how fast time flies by. From laying in bed all day to working two jobs looking for a third and fourth. Not because I necessarily need the money, but working makes me feel productive and accomplish. From being told I’ll have to double a year of high school to finishing my senior courses ahead of my class. From being told I’ll be lucky to even get into a community college to being accepted into a University in California. From dreaming about being a fashion intern to getting two internship in one day. From being told my writing is trash to have readers all over the world emailing me and thanking me for sharing my thoughts into words. My readers,  (you) related deeply into what I am going through. My heart is huge because of you. Dream do come true.

I am at peace in my mind. I let go of all the hurt and bitterness. I am working on my anger and I try to promote happiness and love as much as possibly can. I am just at the start of my adult life but in gods will, I believe I CAN DO IT. I MUST DO IT. “It” as in achieve and accomplish my goals making my family proud.

So I am happy if you’re wondering, and I am not lonely. My crazy yet genius ideas keeps me warm at night. My goals gives me hugs when my immediate family is not around, reminding me of the task I have to complete. I am at peace.

Xoxo,
Typicalstevie 💋